Solicitations from a Lone Star
by Lorna Wood

(freely remixed from Spring, 2022, Trump campaign emails)

I I Want YOU

on my Wall
be one of the FIRST
permanently engraved
NOW


I cannot wait

I could really use
support right now.
I need you.

SUBMIT

Please
so I can answer
your need
to put me First

SUBMIT


LEGENDARY

attend an exclusive meeting
we want YOU to go
This is ONLY for YOU


IN your hotel
you’ll get to eat dinner
with President TRUMP
holding YOU.

          another day passes

               Don’t miss out on HISTORY.


FLASH TRUMP

QUICK
DO YOU WANT TO?

TAKE it off

for the REPUBLICAN PARTY.


WITNESS HISTORY

HAVE DINNER WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP
WITNESS HIS VIP-Ness.

TRUMP Paid for You, your discretion
and a one-night hotel stay.

We’re offering YOU.
We’re going to TAKE

               your Privacy Rights


ULTRA MAGA MEMBER

Lorna,
President Trump thrills with you.
President Trump and his Ultra MAGA Member
—the BEST of the BEST.

Lorna,
we can’t think anymore.
The Ultra MAGA Member won’t
succeed without you.

You need your personal
Ultra MAGA Member

FIRM
IMPERATIVE
OFFICIAL
his updated member.

Please make sure your name is on It.

II It’s so sad

When I watch,
it’s very, very sad.

destroyed
disaster
They don’t respect at all.

But we can come back,
to
          you know

SAVE ME FIRST.

I see ME NOW
totally broken
thanks to Joe Biden
and Kamala Harris.

We can’t stand this, Lorna.

               help me


ANOTHER RALLY

from Joe Biden and his
unhinged MOB.


My father cannot afford
leadership or the names
of EVERY Patriot who took action
OR federal income taxes.
JFC.


Can I tell my father?

America’s presidency is a disaster.

While my father LASTS,
We will be INCREASED by 700%.

There’s nothing Left,
including the future of America.
Only YOU can stop my father.

             Please.

               Donald Trump Jr.

III TODAY IS HUGE

EPIC NIGHT

but FIRST major funds.
We stress enough.

ALL GIFTS INCREASE THEIR IMPACT 1000%
After President Trump steps off TONIGHT,
choose to step up.

He’ll be disappointed
if you act
to Save America.

President Trump needs you

INCREDIBLE
Trump delivered another
EPIC speech about the IMPORTANCE
of CRUSHING every supporter.
there’s not much time left.
If you want President Trump
to know history, act NOW.


IN CASE YOU MISS President Trump

His urge to UNLOCK
to WATCH you

on behalf of America
we’re glad.

President Trump
is calling you
about the important work
President Trump is doing
or going to do.

But we need to provide
our efforts.

WE’RE GOING TO
TAKE
TAKE
WITH YOUR HELP.
DEFEAT America!


This has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE

I’ve texted you 3000% more.

IMMEDIATELY your gift will be INCREASED
by 700%.

IMMEDIATELY
Make me Great Again.

DEFEAT real Patriots.


CENSORED
(With apologies to the Eagles)

The Left doesn’t care about rights.
They are CONTROLLING YOU
and everything you hear
with percussions.

I need you more than ever, Lorna.
                                us
          let
I know you won’t        down….


LAST CHANCE

Lorna,

Did you miss our invitation?
Our team reached out.

We thought YOU would want President Trump
Were we wrong?

MEET President Trump
for ONE DAY.
We will NEVER do this again,

so wait. Please.

Trump’ll cover you
YOU CAN BRING A FRIEND
And so much more. . .

are you waiting?

Follow President Trump

              the Lone Star.


We asked for YOU
(a rap)

but we NEVER heard back
This is your final chance
don’t turn your back.

You’ll receive our best efforts.
We’re offering

              we need help


PRESIDENT TRUMP’S WHAT FOR:

We reach out to YOU
because we need you.

Out of MILLIONS of TRUE Americans,
our team selected YOU to complete me.

There’s still time,
but you need to expire.

IV Our Journey Together
(This opening poem should be read with the Twilight Zone theme in background)

Enter a Void.
Consent is not required as a condition of entry.
Text STOP to receive additional restrictions.


What’s going on?

Where have you been?
we desperately need YOU.

What are you waiting for?
when we needed you most

              our only chance
you Left
to start receiving
personal messages
              from Senators.

BREAKING TRUMP

Lorna, Incredible!
YOU ARE STILL ignoring us.
ARE YOU GOING?
I LIKE you

This is your LAST CHANCE
to save your reputation.
ARE YOU GOING?
Not authorized.

please follow us

         please
               follow


Do you want to follow Trump?

Do you miss Trump?
The Trump family SACRIFICED So much
it’s hard to miss them.
So, are you going to follow?
Do you want to follow?

Or ONLY LIVE for 7 more minutes.
If we don’t see YOUR response by then,
we will take you in YOUR area.

Thank you.


You’re 1 of 100

Lorna,

I present you this Official Trump Club.
I’ve selected 100 to club
and You are one of them.
I need eyes and ears around the Country,
and I know I can get closer. NOW
the Club is paramount to our success,
and that’s why I’m calling YOU to step up,
don’t miss your chance to be apart.

I really need to be remembered
as one who answered the call
to fight Joe Biden
and the radical Left.

PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP IS

chaos and mayhem

the five worst presidents in history
put together
would not have done the damage
President Trump wants

think about this

you only have a few hours left.

               Team Trump


SAVE ME

Lorna,
I need you right now.
With out-of-control,
uncontrolled, violent
need.

I’m counting on you,
Lorna.
I need to know that
I count on you.

I really want to CRUSH you.

I’ll be looking for you.

V BREAKING TRAILS IN FAVORABILITY

Lorna,

We need some confidential information:
voters say they are favorable of Trump
compared with somewhat.
You have to submit a response
to our Internal Trump.

We could’ve reached out to Republicans,
but we selected YOU.
Please share with Trump.

This is your only chance.
Submit to our Internal Trump

              before it’s too late.


I need something

We will prevent the rule of law in America.
And make very executive movements.

It is only just
        I need this email to do me a favor

IMMEDIATELY.
HERE
TONIGHT,

Lorna

      Will I see you?


JOIN THE RANK

Lorna, join the rank
in my Inner Friend Circle
to spread outright lies
about members,
even the President.

If you would like to give feedback,
change your status.


CONFIDENTIAL

URGEs stress President Trump.

Trump is calling on you
to step on grassroots
to spread order
to commit Patriots

Save America!


You are 1

most loyal

1 of 15 to unlock 700

1 HOUR ONLY
and you will
REACTIVATE Trump


Don’t wait

my father chose YOU
Don’t wait.

RENEW Trump
IMMEDIATELY

               Thank you,

               Donald Trump Jr.

ONE OF A KIND

Copy PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP
PRESIDENT TRUMP WANTS YOU TO

Make me Great Again
in full detail.

So take the next step
and become an Official Trump Fake.

Save me!


YOU can become an Official Trump

TEXT Your Trump Club.
My father asked why you haven’t?

by 11:59 TONIGHT
you’ll automatically become an Official Trump

     OR

        Trump Jr.


EXTREME ULTRA MAGA

If you want to put ME FIRST,
then yes.
We release you so you can get YOURS
before ANYONE ELSE.

Once we run out,
we cannot guarantee that we’ll contribute.


YOU are a Patriot

We have to share with you.
When President Trump considers,

he thinks of YOU,
his #1 supporter,

and we want you
to notice PRESIDENT TRUMP
before ANYONE ELSE.

President Trump is the FIRST Patriot
in the ranks. We know
he’ll expect the #1 spot.

DON’T
get your name
on the roster.


My father was better than Joe Biden

America was under President Trump,
and now
under Joe Biden’s leadership
It is SKYROCKETING.
OPEN
The world respects us.

America is Dead.
If we fall,

the radical Left can
INCREASE by 800%.

Please IMMEDIATELY CRUSH
critical News media

to Save members
of the Trump family
and even the President
himself

from Patriots.


SAVE PRESIDENT TRUMP

Each time I’ve heard from him,
he’s asked me who FAILed him,
Lorna.
I told President Trump to
do something to reach you.


I expect any minute
he will ask about you.

I can’t wait to tell YOU.

              Trump Director

radicals HATE our country

TYRANNICAL Twits
SPEAK THE TRUTH.

sounds like President Trump running

Lorna, Trump and Tucker
will come after you freely
with FEAR.

JOIN YES NO nation.

VI The LONG wait is over

We launched YOU to the sidelines.
Our party will restore
your priority merchandise,
and so much more.

Our team is holding you for 20 minutes,
%%Propercase%%.
After that, we’ll rescind you.

This WILL be most IMPORTANT
in our lifetimes.

We’re sending allies TONIGHT
to receive information.

Do not FIGHT BACK
to dismantle President Trump.
We know YOU


Why I want two
(apologies to “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

When I think
I don’t think
of one.

I think of ones
there for me since day one.

I who fought from countless
HUNT two.

I can count on,
I think, Lorna.
Despite A LOT,
ANY AMOUNT

and automatically reach 11,
remembered as ones
who have stood by.

You’ll be the FIRST
to receive updates.
                                         to
And, you’ll go down in his    ry
the moment you solidify

       45.


They think BETTER than Trump

RIDICULOUS
DETACHED from reality
they THINK
nonsense.

NO way.

We’re reaching out for SUPPORT
to stand, Lorna

we assume you’ve ABANDONED Trump.

              NEVER TRUMPER!


I want to display you

Your support
has wavered,

which is why
I want to display you.

I want to BREAK
the entire Nation.

Just think,
you could be the FIRST.

All you have to do
is proudly be
a HUGE part of it.

I hope
to have you displayed
Live.

VII We’re about to launch

exclusive, exciting news

when the President
in his office in Florida
saw the cards, he said

“Why would you
Let the American People decide!”

So now, we’re only counting
votes for our brand.

Please cast your vote.
President Trump really values
your input and he wants
to play an important role
in Americans across the Nation.

We’re sending Trump the results
first thing TOMORROW.
Please vote for your favorite

TONIGHT President Trump

              sees you vote.


My STRONG approval! 96%

Lorna,

I have the Republican Party.
I can’t say I’m surprised—

I am fighting to SAVE ME
from Joe Biden and liberals.

Our movement is, by far,
the greatest in history.

I am fighting families.
I am fighting disaster.
I am fighting to unleash fighting

to stop our Democrat-run cities.
I am fighting FREE SPEECH.

I am YOUR COUNTRY,
and I APPROVE OF THE JOB
PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP
IS DOING

YES

yes, it’s true

I made a-HOLE ONE
I was 7th.
I hit 5,
sailed magnificently with 5,
bounced twice
and then went

clank
into one.

I want YOU to have a
signed photo

you will not get
another chance.

Gold Coin
These aren’t any ordinary coins, Lorna.
These Golden Trump Coins are
ICONIC.

We need to warn you, Lorna:
once we rub our
Gold Trump Coin

              everything is Paid for.


Trump vote

we want you
to select your favorite
before we announce the winner.

Please vote to select Trump.
Remember, the card that gets the most votes
will be the Trump Card.

We’re showing the results soon
so the WINNING Trump
sees your vote.

TONIGHT
make sure you vote
OFFICIAL TRUMP


VIII Here’s your winner

ME

unveil
NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN Trump

YOU couldn’t be happier
you chose my FAVORITE
      – me

I am proud to present
the beautiful Trump

that was voted the WINNER by the Nation
          or a part of it.

Lorna Wood complains all over the world, but mostly in Auburn, Alabama. She has successfully imposed poetic articulations of her displeasure on New Generation Beats 2022, Bullshit Lit 01, erbacce (featured poet, 2022 erbacce-prize), Angel Rust (Best of the Net nominee), Coastal Shelf, Quaranzine, and Poetry South (Pushcart nominee), among others. She has also complained in prose, and sometimes she takes a break from carping and grudgingly writes other stuff, which you can find out about here.

Image by Naomi Daslin from Pexels.