Complaint 82.3

End of August
by Ari Lisner

Hurricanes do not scare me the sky is purple and everyone is at home and online
It all makes for a very closed system
Which I love obviously

I do not have it in me for Israel or parties for beer even much less a burrito much less
anything with enough net carbs to send my mother over the edge

I am indebted to my mother

She took me to Atlantic City after my break up and let me piss away all of her money let me
play video poker let me win four hundred on the slots and slip an extra twenty put it in my
back pocket and pretend like it never existed because that is exactly how she taught it to me.
Taught me to lie to make sure that I know I am coming out the winner. I know and nobody

She let me play Neil Young in the car at 4am on the way home she said that she liked him
actually there on the Expressway

My voice projects these days
I am a Ben Lerner forever I have been learning forever been leaning forever
A friend says it is mud city but actually it is worm city worms breathe mud mud breeds
worms beer makes me feel like fucking shit hello NSA hello calmer audience hello

I say I am renouncing lesbianhood
Then I make eye contact with Rubyfruit Jungle
The references they
Haunt me

No one tells you that testosterone is actually the femmiest drug in the entire world it makes
you have sympathy for men it makes you want to text men and makes you want to
emphasize with them it makes you text to your college friends

Hello hello like I’m fucking RuPaul hello hello like I’m fucking fracking

I’m not gonna be Eileen Myles to the 22 year olds

Ari Lisner is a poet, journalist, and researcher whose writing captures queer intimacy against the backdrop of New York City. Their work has been featured in Peach Mag, Triangle House, Wonder Press, GQ, Allure, and others. ONE SCHTICK PONY, their first chapbook, is forthcoming with Bullshit Lit in 2023. They are also the co-founder of the poetry press Touch Me New World and the host of the reading series It’s A Sign at KGB Bar in NYC. Find them on Instagram at @arisbarmitzvah.

Image by Ale Hidalgo from Pixabay.

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